Beef

1. I had the privilege of engaging in conversation with a fine young Canadian lad who was sent to the U campus to preach the born again gospel to the multitudinous hellbound Mormons in Salt Lake City. For the record, I have absolutely no problem with this. I am happy to see anyone in their early twenties who actually gives a crap about how things are, were, and are to come. I do, however, become unamused when people of particular faiths criticize other people for their respective faiths. I see no logic or merit to this endeavor. Furthermore, I find it quite ridiculous how people use the Bible to attack other faiths. I accused the fine aforementioned gentleman today of putting the Bible above God, and of putting the text of the Bible above the principles of the Bible. These folks do not consider the nature of the laws of justice, mercy, and so forth, but rather, point to obscure passages and proclaim debatable interpretations. I have witnessed this practice countless times and I find it unfortunate. When your religion is proving the demise of other religions, you pit the masses and poision Christianity.

Temptations

1. When singing hymns during a Church meeting or fireside, I am frequently tempted to use a Kermit the frog voice.
2. When I am about to make a left turn onto another road and a car stopped at its intersection waits for me in order to make a left turn onto my street, I feel morally inclined to pull a Puerto Rican Sneek on him.

Academia

Freshman year, fall semester at Utah State University, 2003. About two weeks into my sociology 1010 class, my professor announces to the class he forgot to post on the syllabus that we are entitled to one absence per semester (we had been taking roll every class period to that point). Without skipping a beat, I kid you not, half of the class gets up and leaves.

Junior year, fall semester at the University of Utah, 2007. Approximately one month into the semester, at the beginning of my public speaking class, my professor announces to the class he made a mistake in regard to the weekly reading we were to have done before the class period. "I posted chapter 19, but I meant to post chapter 18," he said. After a pause, "Who did the reading?" Not one hand was raised. Much laughter ensued.

Reading

Most people amount to very little, which we should think about, since each of us have great potential to amount to very little as well. One of the core values of reading lies in it's role as a behavioral catalyst. I know we end up making so little of our lives because we don't treat ourselves like mechanisms. What is the generic cycle of man? He lives, he acquires knowledge, he develops aspirations, he realizes they are difficult to achieve, he ceases to pursue his aspirations, he feels a lack of internal consistency, he becomes depressed, he gains resolve, he sets goals, he is enthusiastic, then he again realizes that his aspirations will be quite difficult to achieve and continues to shrink into a weak, underwhelming specimen. What, therefore, is the alternate direction man can take in order to disrupt the venomous inertia that slowly leads him to meaninglessness? Catalytic Introspection. Man must concentrate and persist in order to explicitly understand his intrinsic aspirations and the most powerful motivations that stimulate his mind and body to break through the alleged difficulties and complexities of creating a strategy, setting things in motion, and generating and perpetuating momentum through attainment. I have found that reading, in various forms, provides the most vast and most intense fonts of the aforementioned motivation. Catalytic Introspection and Reading.

Retrospections

"In the days of my youth I was told what it means to be a man. Now I've reached that age I try to do all those things the best I can." - Robert Plant

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. - Robert Frost

Had I known how annoying wearing glasses would be with a (shifted to the left) nose, I would have been much more diligent wearing the plastic thing the Logan hospital doctors gave me after nose surgery after the classy Weber State player kicked me in the face after I got tackled.

Had I known it would cost me a criminal misdemeanor, a $600 life skills course, $500 in fines and court fees, and fifteen hours of community service, I would have opted to not top off my freshman year as an Aggie by pulling the Snow Hall dormitory fire alarm at 3:00 AM in the freezing winter.

Had I known that engaging in a razor scooter race with my friends throughout the halls of Skyline High School during fifth period in the spring of '03, wearing rugby shorts and ski goggels, would have gotten me a 1.5 day suspension and a subsequent pizza/swimming party at Josh's, (which everyone who didn't get suspended also attended), ...oh wait, I am so glad we did that.

Had I known that toiletpapering a girl's house on a main road at 10:00 PM would have caused Zach Hanks to lose his shoe by virtue of our attempted retreat, I would have reminded everyone beforehand to double knot.

Had I been aware of Ayn Rand earlier in my life, I would have felt justification for many of my thoughts and actions.